201th

Now that I think I've gotten my poise back, on to part 2.

I had read a book before that talked about soulmates. According to the author, there was no one soulmate for one person. The idea was that people come and go in a person's life that would leave an impression. There is a reason why such-and-such person was in your life now, or there's a reason why they left when they did. You may have done or said something that affected another person as well.

When ex-bf had broken up with me, I thought that my life was at an end. How could I go on if the person I had lived for was gone? It was a "who is going to love me now?" moment. Of course, in reality, I had a lot of people who loved me. Really loved me. There was my family and of course my friends. People who have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly side of me, who still chose to love me no matter who or what I was. But still, there was that other kind of love that people dream of. The love that can complete you. The kind that can turn the world upside down and inside out and make you blush and your heart beat faster. The kind of love that you can dream of a future with.

So I sat down and waited. I was so convinced that I was the right person for ex-bf that I thought "I was the best gf that he'll ever have." I was so lost that I thought that the only way I could regain my me-ness was to have him back in my life. It felt like being an untethered boat in stormy water.

It took me a year to get out of that slump. It took me a year to realize that I had to get up and walk away from that train wreck of a relationship. It took me a year to find out that he wasn't worth my throwing my life away. A year to realize that I was worth being loved. One frickin' year.

I was still feeling morose right up to that time when a long-haired, slightly chubby, very cute guy walked into my classroom wearing a tie-dyed shirt.

Fast forward to 2006.

The memories of ex-bf are so hazy now. All that heartbreak seemed like it belonged to someone else. Although I can remember the bad times, I can't seem to remember the good. Which speaks volumes about the quality of the relationship.

I am so truly in love with Jef. Even if we're ten gazillion miles away, I can still feel his love, I can still hear his voice.

I think that Jerry Maguire got it wrong. It's not about who completes you. It's about who complements you.

com·ple·ment Pronunciation (kmpl-mnt)<br>n.
1.
Either of two parts that complete the whole or mutually complete each other.


In other words, you're already complete, but you get together with another complete person and together you make something else, of not better. Think of it in colors. Blue is a complete color. So is yellow. Together, they make a totally different, but complete color: green.

Jef is my complementary color.

Jef is a person who can stand on his own. He has his own ideas, his own interests, his own schedule in life. So do I. But we love each other enough to make room for each other. He adjusts to my moods, I adjust to his quirky-ness.<br>
I used to worry about our not having fights. I mean, we have petty arguments like what mall to go to or the fact that he's a victim of the "5 more minutes of sleep" syndrome. But that's about it. But to be honest, we really don't fight about anything. Is that worrisome? I hope not. I think it just means that both of us easily adjust to one another. Sometimes I give in, sometimes he does. With us, the important thing is that we're together.

Or maybe we do have really big fights, but I can't remember any because the good times always outweigh the bad. The longest tampo session we've had was about an hour tops. No matter how angry I was, I knew that he'd always come back and want to sort it out. I know he won't walk away without fixing the problem. And it is in that knowledge that I am content. He is really someone I can count on.

I'd also like to think of myself as a complete person. Admittedly (and Jef might mention this too), I still have my whiny and complain-y moments. I can still be a total airhead dork, but that's a part of who I am. Jef accepts me for that. He doesn't wish for me to be anything else than who I am (I hope). That is positively freeing. I can be myself and not be afraid that he won't love me anymore. He can be at his most comfortable and he won't worry that I won't love him because he farted in public or whatever.

Even if we're not together now, Jef makes up for it a billion times over when we talk over the phone.

Ang queso namin no?

I wish that everybody could find their complementary color. Understandably, the prerequisite is that you have to be complete yourself. Set benchmarks! Don't settle! The worst thing that you can do to yourself is to lower your worth.