apathetic
I had to check the dictionary to make sure that was really the word I was looking for...it was.
ap·a·thet·ic (
p
-th
t
k) also ap·a·thet·i·cal (--kl)
adj.
p-thtk) also ap·a·thet·i·cal (--kl)adj.
- Feeling or showing a lack of interest or concern; indifferent.
- Feeling or showing little or no emotion; unresponsive.
It just seems so weird to me that I have about 20 days left in the Philippines. 20 tentative days left. 20 days of staying at home and enduring the heat before I have to pack up everything that I have and move to a totally different hemisphere.
20 days left with Jef, which makes my heart break each and every day because I know that I will miss him so much.
20 days of thinking that I don't have any tears left, then I still tear up and cry.
20 days of going to places and thinking: "This might be the last time I'll be going here." And weirdly saying goodbye to all sorts of things: trees, stairs, parking lots, etc.
20 days of praying that God or destiny or whatever can give me more time.
It's weird that I just realized how little time I have left here. It's also weird how emotional I can get. I mean, it's not like I'm never going to go back here. Of course I'm going to go back here. But it's strange because I'll be going back here only to visit. But then again, I'll take what I can get.
My room is still a mess. I still haven't sorted out my stuff. I know I"m being a dork about all this but I can't help it.
Anyway, let's get back to why I was thinking about apathy. Almost everyone knows that I'm leaving na. I've also stressed that this departure is for good. So far, deadma sila. I think that maybe because majority of my friends are guys, that they're not as emotional as girls are. I wish they were sometimes. As for me, I'm about as emotional as I can get. But they're like: "Okay, whatever. Have fun!". Don't get me wrong, they're good hearted people, and I know that they'd *probably* miss me. I guess it's just different for them because they're not the ones who are leaving. They'd still have all the time in the world to spend with each other. I don't. I wish they'd understand that.
Then again, maybe this is the best way of saying goodbye. To act like everything won't change. To pretend like I"m just going to live in Makati or wherever.
Three cheers though for the 20 days! May they be the longest 20 days of my life. Hee! Sana they extend to 40 days. *crosses fingers*
20 days left with Jef, which makes my heart break each and every day because I know that I will miss him so much.
20 days of thinking that I don't have any tears left, then I still tear up and cry.
20 days of going to places and thinking: "This might be the last time I'll be going here." And weirdly saying goodbye to all sorts of things: trees, stairs, parking lots, etc.
20 days of praying that God or destiny or whatever can give me more time.
It's weird that I just realized how little time I have left here. It's also weird how emotional I can get. I mean, it's not like I'm never going to go back here. Of course I'm going to go back here. But it's strange because I'll be going back here only to visit. But then again, I'll take what I can get.
My room is still a mess. I still haven't sorted out my stuff. I know I"m being a dork about all this but I can't help it.
Anyway, let's get back to why I was thinking about apathy. Almost everyone knows that I'm leaving na. I've also stressed that this departure is for good. So far, deadma sila. I think that maybe because majority of my friends are guys, that they're not as emotional as girls are. I wish they were sometimes. As for me, I'm about as emotional as I can get. But they're like: "Okay, whatever. Have fun!". Don't get me wrong, they're good hearted people, and I know that they'd *probably* miss me. I guess it's just different for them because they're not the ones who are leaving. They'd still have all the time in the world to spend with each other. I don't. I wish they'd understand that.
Then again, maybe this is the best way of saying goodbye. To act like everything won't change. To pretend like I"m just going to live in Makati or wherever.
Three cheers though for the 20 days! May they be the longest 20 days of my life. Hee! Sana they extend to 40 days. *crosses fingers*
[ marla ] at
12:16 AM
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