demanding!

Sigh...I woke up early last Saturday because I was supposed to have my medical exam at 9am. Eek. You know what that means: "Hubad! Tuwad! Dugo!" I was a bit groggy still and I think the doctor performing the exam on me was a bit impatient. Downright mean!

After that, we headed over to Makati Medical to have my xrays done. I was laughing in the dressing room because I wanted to wear the medical gown the wrong way. But I did get it right (I think), when I went out naman, hindi ako pinagtawan ng medical guy.

taken while waiting for my turn at the x-ray thing. Indiana Jones was showing on the TV.


I like my shoes...


Modelling the MMC gown...backless kuno...at least hindi frontless. Haha!

*****

I got to talk to my sister the other day about the plan. She told me not to worry about it. I'm really trying not to. She told me that Raoul said that I was both happy and sad. Of course! Who wouldn't be naman diba? It's like: "O, you have this great opportunity...but here are the things you have to give up." 30 years worth of living is what I have to give up, I think. I mean, of course, the memories I have will always be with me wherever I will go, but it won't be the same. I'm afraid of not having more memories to make with the same people. I'm going to be leaving behind so many people and so many things. Familiarity, for one thing. It's always hard to adjust to a new place. Especially for my since I basically hide behind someone everytime we go to someplace new. I just know that I will be miserable for at least 6 months. Then after that, I will be sad lang. I dunno. I don't want to think about it. As I've said before, this has all been planned for me. I've never really gotten to air my opinion on this whole thing.

One of the things I'm really afraid of is not having a plan. Jef and I have talked about it, sure. Pero as things stand now, he's not sure what he wants to do if ever. Me naman, I just want to know if I should be working towards something. It's no question that I want to be with him always, but of course, you never can tell where life will bring you. I understand his side of it also. He's also been thrown for a loop, but I hope that he's also thinking about it. I mean planning the next step or whatever. I just hope that when the time comes for final decision making, he's sure na with what he wants to do. I don't want to pressure him naman. Arghhhhhhhhh! I hate feeling like this!