Stranded

I can't but think about what Issa told me a few weeks ago. I was telling her about inspiration and how hard it was for me to get going on any project. She said "Maybe it's because you're comfortable now." She has a point. Since way back, almost all my "creativity" stemmed out from being angsty about life, love and other stuff. I would draw or write everytime I felt angry, or depressed, or in love. But now, I'm in this great relationship where almost nothing goes wrong. Jef and I don't fight. Well, okay, we fight. But not the knock-down-drag-out kinda fights that last for 5 days. We fight over the remote, or maybe who gets to play first, or when I try to wake him up and he doesn't wanna get up yet. And those aren't even fights! It's the "no, it's okay you go ahead"-"no you go ahead"-"no, you na!" kind of fight.

So yeah, I guess you can say I'm comfortable now. But I think it's kinda hard for me to be inspired now because I'm just happy to lean back and not let anything bother me na. There aren't any other external factors anymore. School is definitely out, so there are no more deadlines or grades to deal with. So what is left? Internal factors? /swt

So how to get creative again? Have I become so comfortable that I've let go of my passion for creating things? I know there are the kinds of people who are innately creative. People who are passionate about what they do. Aids is a good example. He draws really well because he loves the topic that he draws. I want to create because I want to, not because I have to. I'm so laid back now, I don't feel like making anything. Hence the slow trickle of creativity.

Mind you, I don't want anything tragic to happen to me to serve as a kick in the pants. NO. I want this to come from me and me alone. But where to start....