Almost

Ever since September, here I was thinking that I would be successful. I so thought wrong. Months later, I'm still here. Doing nothing. And then finally, I get this text message from D, saying that "oh you shouldn't pass up opportunities if something better comes along." OH.MY.GOD. Anything is better than this for God's sake!!!! *insert string of expletives here*
In other words, the business ain't never gonna push through darlin'. @&$#!&%$!!!!!!!!

So now what? Back to the old drawing board. *grumble grumble* As of January, I'm officially looking for something else to do. I'm sooooo...upset...mad...irritated...at her!!! I know, I know, it's not all her fault. It's partly mine for jumping straight in with both feet. BECAUSE OF HER!!! The person who hooked me up with the most annoying person in the world. Why did I trust her? Good Lord, help me! Talk about not learning your lesson. Sheesh!

So now it's time to concentrate and start all over again. I can't believe this.

I think I have to start with myself. I have no confidence whatsoever in my work. I have a hard time coming up with ideas now. My brain doesn't want to cooperate! What is my goal. To find a career path. To build up my confidence. To not be insecure. To be proud of myself and my work. To practice!

Lord, please help me with this.

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I've been so paranoid lately. All these things happening all over the world. In my country. Enough! Tama na! I don't want to live with this constant image of death in my mind. I don't want to live with this fear that I will lose everyone that I love. I honestly don't know how I will handle it. I will go mad. Seriously.

Lord, thank You so much for all the blessings that You have given to me and my family. Please watch over us and protect us. Let no one be hurt or be in an accident. Please watch over us and keep us safe. Please. I'm so scared.